themandariin

5:30 am.

New York, NY

Petals across the floor. Books, magazines, clothes and food. A dirty mess that’s been spreading over for too long. The weak light in the corner is casting frightful shadows over those piles of junk. A cold, dark, grey, blue atmosphere is making me sweat. Seems like we’ve entered a haunted house, our garden of evil.

A massive cleanup has been long overdue. Sirens in the back keep screaming. Soon they’ll be coming for us, for you. Hear ‘em? Now it’s too late. You won’t come clean, and I’m twisted. 

The city lights illuminate your face. You can’t resist such a disturbing commotion, can you?

Let me just smash down that picture of you two. Is a late night the right time to mess it all up even further? Bring it on.

I hit your head on the wall. And once more. Now you know what this is about. I don’t know what’s wetting my hands. Might be my blood, might be your tears.

No. You don’t look away; you can’t loosen up my grid. I hold your head between my hands because I wanna see those eyes, explore them, find out what they hide, light up them with passion, embrace them, adore them. Those two slanting slits are beautiful.

A deep kiss on your perfect lips. Now you’re quiet. Yes I’ve crossed my heart for you and now it’s been crushed for too long.

Somehow we both know what’s bounded to happen. The path that seemed to have been settled on won’t hold any longer. Broken glass is covering the floor and you can’t lie anymore.

So let me phrase it clearly.

Will you marry me?

9.59pm.

Trocadéro, Paris. 

This was to be perfect. We found a free parking space right away. We walked to the trocadero plaza. Gloomy sky but rain has stopped. We hold hands.

We sit here on the stone for a while, looking at the Eiffel Tower. I’ve been there many times but I’m still amazed by the beauty of the scene. Traffic in the background seems so far away. The turmoil of the city couldn’t disturb the serenity of the place. I feel overwhelmed by the majesty of the Old Lady. They come from all around the world to be awed by such a beauty. I’m just lucky enough to ride the train down the line and watch it every night.

I look at him. With his dark-tanned skin and almond eyes.

I’m getting just a little cold. He passes me his jacket, over my shoulder. As he sits back, he smiles at me. I cherish those smiles of his, when his two cheeks dimple so cutely. I run my finger on his curved nose and he closes his eyes, to better enjoy it.

I don’t know what’s gonna happen. The future looks as unsure as the last years have been. Jumping from one place to another, little time to adjust.

I tell him I will be by his sides, forverer. I do lie, he knows it. I will keep him safe because he seems so unsecure. Maybe I’m trying to cast away my own insecurities. Maybe I’m curing myself with helping him.

He works his ass off to pay for tuition and student loans. He’s a good boy willing to make it.

I thought so till they started saying nasty things about him. The rumor has it he’s not that serious. Probably. But do I care? Not really. I’m not so clean either and apparently, the rumor knows that too.

He spends his free nights with me, contemplating the city at dusk. I know I won’t be taking any love from him. It’ll just be an escape from reality.

10pm and the show starts, the Old Lady glows in beautiful Paris. I extend my arm over his shoulder and hold him tight. He kisses my cheek and lays his head on my shoulder.

Affection binds us together.